Just Beat It

At least once every day, I get freaked out about the horrible possibilities of what I'm seeing in our country and the world. A year ago, I was scared what would happen if Obama didn't win. I never believed he really could win and at the same time there was this glimmer of hope that made me take action to the point where it eventually took over nearly everything else.

Now I'm getting another glimmer at this time when the enormous forces we are up against are increasingly visible. I have more understanding of what Obama meant last year when he said once he got elected, we would have just begun the work that we had to do.Things look so serious to me. I see Obama walking a very strategic path through extremely dangerous fields and people. Hard to convince people of this, hard for me to really get it. But over the last months, the crises haven't stopped coming--every couple days, another.

What really scares me is bold-faced evidence of what I have hoped wasn’t really true. http://www.ourfuture.org/blog-entry/2009062626/2044-novel-comes-true As George Carlin said, "Anytime you hear businessmen debating 'which policy is better for America,' ' don’t bend over.'"
Seems like the corporate powers used to give us more crumbs so it was easier to go along. Like frogs in boiling water? My father knew it back in the 60's, when it arguably wasn't even as big yet. Eisenhower warned against it in the 50’s. There is power that is beyond the government and that is what Obama is navigating with unbelievable brilliance--just as he did in the campaign. I know it isn't always to see so its easy to lose faith and hope.

This is a real fight and for now, it is for health care. I am starting to get it. Obama needs us to organize and show power, to have influence at least on those close to power. The people of Iran are doing it. In Honduras they were about to get a chance to take a step (if I understand the situation correctly).

I have hosted or helped host nearly every house meeting they requested. For me, these were usually dissatisfying events where people were unclear what they were supposed to do to have an effect and just expressed their opinions and interpretations and what they wished Obama would do. I believe that experience was not true for everyone who hosted house parties. It was not true for the people in Longmont, where with a few of my Boulder team members, we joined the Longmont OFA Day of Service this past Saturday.

What we did was go to different parts of town and get out the word about CHIPS+ the county health care program for children and pregnant women who don't have coverage. As of yesterday, only 30% of those who are eligible are enrolled. A lot of people don't think they'd qualify or they didn't when they applied but they would now. We worked in pairs; Subu and I took Main Street. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Surprisingly to me, Main Street was nearly deserted. The basic stores that people need are not there and there is not one chain. It is mainly restaurants and second hand stores. All pretty empty. Some permanently empty. We did manage to make contact with about 10 people on the sidewalk and in a couple stores and gave out information and had conversations that made me feel our common humanity. Not a single person didn't need that information, for themselves or a relative. Every single person was inadequately covered, most with no insurance. A couple times I needed to communicate with Spanish speakers. For me it took courage to take the chance of using one of my few Spanish words to actually try to communicate instead of just moving on. It felt that important. We did have brochures in Spanish.

So, a quiet downtown and whoever was in town needs health care coverage.

We also went to the park where everyone thanked us for offering the information whether they needed it or not. One family was so grateful as their coverage has increased beyond their means. The income eligibility is not as low as you might assume--not poverty, more edge of middle class.
I got a glimpse of our possible power to make a difference though I’m still struggling with a familiar lack of motivation. After the primary, after the election, I was so relieved that I didn't have to make phone calls or knock on doors or have patience with people. I wanted to be relieved of the heavy responsibility of doing my part in this struggle, which is too big for my imagination. I am resisting the overpowering sense of recognized urgency, responsibility and openness to the possibility that we people might be necessary to make a difference. I miss the fun part -- Alex and the other young field organizers, the camaraderie with fellow volunteers. I met people Saturday who were pretty inspiring and wonderful to be around. I'm starting to get glimmers.

Our voices cannot be heard if we don't get them out. I have some time to make phone calls this week. Nearly everyone could find time to call or email a representative and two senators. Otherwise I need to live in denial or give in to despair. I hear my father saying, “While we don’t know for sure if our effort will work, we know what will happen if we don't even try…” In my heart, I am still an idealist. Could I take this on again? Will anyone join me? I miss our old team.
We are now being asked to make phone calls this week to ask people to call their representatives and senators to support the genuine public option for genuine health care reform that is: available nationwide; on day one; and accountable to Congress and the voters (For more details on how to contact your congressional reps: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/6/29/748022/-Lets-Crack-The-Whip-For-The-Public-Option!)

I am inviting people to an open house phone banking party on Thursday 6-8pm where we can each use the OFA on-line tool to make 25 calls. Of course you can do it on your own, but remember how much more fun it was to have people to talk to about your calls? Join us virtually if you are out of town!

I don't know if you cared for Michael Jackson but I am sadder than I can understand. Whoever and whatever he really was, I know that many of his songs were about making it a better world and there is something about him dying as he did that feels like the end of a voice that expressed longing to heal some sort of wounded hope and flawed love. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/29/philippines-prisons-micha_n_222169.html

As I'm trying to find the spark, the belief and willingness in me to dive in again, I realize that my deep reaction to Michael Jackson's death could be a reflection of the loss of my own hope and love that had filled me when I immersed myself in the campaign. Maybe the only way to stop this ache is to open up again to that hope and love that goes along with effective action for a bigger cause. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8

I'm thinking about Buckminster Fuller's metaphor of the trimtab, which is a very small piece on the bottom of the rudder of jets and ships that when turned slightly creates a vacuum that turns the rudder that then turns the direction of the whole ship. He said, "Call me trimtab."

"I'm asking you to believe.
Not just in my ability to bring about change in Washington...
I'm asking you to believe in yours."
Barack Obama